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Flirting Tips |
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The finer points of social intercourse...........
The art of flirting is not only the preserve of the rich,
beautiful and exceptionally confident, nor do you have to be a wanton women or
lecherous Casanova to participate. With a little bit of practice and some sound
advise, flirting is available to everyone – best of all, it can be a powerful
social weapon when used for good instead of evil. Did we mention it’s great
fun, builds confidence, can win you lots of friends and is a playful yet
sure-fire way to test the waters when it comes to romance?
But enough of this shameless teasing, come hither and we whisper some tips
in your ear that will ensure you’re not, in fact, flirting with disaster.
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New social
situations fill most people with fear and
while some of us are adept at bluffing it
out, the greater portion of the room will
usually prefer to stick with the people they
know, or hide in the shadows praying that
someone will talk to them – in extreme
cases, praying that they won’t. Taking the
dreaded first step is always a tough one,
requiring great reserves of mental strength
– or at least a tall glass of Dutch courage.
But according to the experts it’s all in the
way you approach it.
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When people
grasp the concept that to be a great flirt
you pay attention to the other
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Person rather
than drawing attention to yourself, it
becomes more appealing, especially to people
who are not particularly socially confident.
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Shift your
attention to making somebody else feel good,
you’ll be pleasantly surprised that when you
make somebody else feel good, they will
often return the favour.
Sounds simple, huh? Take your glass of wine, stand next to someone and
smile encouragingly at him or her as they talk about themselves. Eventually
they’ll run out of things to say and start being nice to you instead. But
without using camouflage and sidling up to someone like a Russian spy, how do
you put yourself in the right position for that conversation?
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Breaking the
ice is undoubtedly the hardest part of
meeting someone new, so what do you actually
say to get the ball rolling – presumably,
“Remember my name, you’ll be screaming it
later” is not a great opener?
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“Start with
hello, then go out on a limb, you should
tell that story, the one that makes you look
like a dodo. Once you reveal yourself as
human you’ll help others feel relaxed.”
Good flirts make other people feel special and
enjoy doing it. “Flirts love people and notice
what makes them tick.” They also have a great
attitude, one that is relaxed, fearless and
outward looking”. Treat it like a game, to win
you just need to get then to smile back.”
According to the experts, coaxing yourself into
the kind of relaxed and playful state of mind
you need for successful flirting needn’t require
a personality transplant if you’re not usually
the gregarious type. All you have to do is
change your attitude by being conscious of your
negative thoughts and changing them to positive
ones. Most of us don’t approach others because
we fear rejection, but flirting reduces this
risk, as you’re simply putting out feelers to
see what response you get before you put your
heart on the line. Getting in the right frame of
mind will definitely make it easier to get out
there and say hi.
To be playful you just have to think playful. Maybe there’s a song that
energises you, or a memory that makes you feel good. Conjure them up in your
head and you’ll be surprised at that little kick of energy and enthusiasm you
get. Our advise is not to use fake plastic bre3asts or a false moustache as
your props – way too much room for error. But certainly having a few tunes that
will build your confidence is ideal given the normal social conditions most of
us operate in.
When most people think about flirting they concentrate on
romantic context. However at it’s heart, flirting is simply about making people
feel valued, and in return for this you’ll be remembered and liked; an ideal
scenario for the workplace and everyday social interaction.
Flirting is useful in business, when you flirt
with someone you pay them a compliment and
compliments can grease the wheels of industry.
Don’t confuse this with browning or being overly
effusive of course, but it is good noticing
other people and being interested in them.
Sincere, rather than saucy. As your mother
probably told you ,”it does’nt hurt to say
something nice.”
It’s important to keep in mind that you need to be
careful when flirting, particularly in the workplace – signals can be
misunderstood if you aren’t clear. “Never cross the line or be sleazy,” This is
particularly true of email flirting; you must be careful not to be lewd or
overtly suggestive they may come back to haunt you. Sending colleagues a digital
image of you wearing just a big smile, for instance, is probably a tad too much.
Flirting is not all about achieving a romantic goal, flirting when done well is
natural communication where you focus your attention on the other person. It
makes people notice you – not for you’re your great feats and accomplishments,
but because you come across as a genuine and intelligent human being. Everyone
wants someone to listen to them and to remember who they are – it’s one of the
greatest compliments there is.
When flirting is great for testing the water of romance or
for planting yourself favourably at work, it can also help keep the fires
burning in a long-term relationship.
Flirting keeps relationships – new and old fresh and
alive....
So what’s the best advice for getting out there? “Nothing ventured nothing
gained”, it costs nothing to smile or pay someone a compliment.
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